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Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I had been telling myself "Fuck, this sucks. I've got nothing to do." Then something stuck me like lightning. "I can rant and talk about all things random and happy on my blog!" That explains why I am here I reckon? So anyway, things have been getting better on my side, I should say. And I'm pretty grateful for that. The other half, I'm not so grateful, I'm actually feeling pretty anxious waiting for what's to come in the near future. I don't know what to anticipate. The most I can do now is to paint a beautifully ideal picture of what I wish things would be, but everyone knows that you can't always get what you want in life. And this, is a superbly major bummer. I hate this fact of life. Or is it? For all I know the picture that I have instilled in mind might just materialise. Alright, we all know that I shouldn't put such high hopes on things like these. It can be deadly, fatal and dangerous...
My mind's been in a whirlpool of confusion and happiness lately. I don't really know how to feel about things, and how to react to things that have been happening. So I'm just going to be selectively optimistic and enjoy every moment from now on. I wouldn't want to end up dying ~forever alone and depressed~! Someone told me it's about time I loosened up to the people around me. I should start accepting others (particularly those of the opposite gender) willingly with an open heart, and not be highly skeptical about their over-friendliness. Then again, there's only that fine like between flirting and being over-friendly to everyone, right?
Negative thoughts aside, I'm going to free myself like a bird. I shouldn't be too rigidly caught up with being so 'right' all the time, it is definitely high time I hang out with different kinds of people and have more fun.
But of course there's only space for that special one. Delving deeper into your heart, getting to know your dislikes and likes, that's what I should be doing now.
But I'm afraid.